Hi Friends!
As a new mom, it’s easy to compare yourself to all the other moms out there…especially today when Pinterest is all the rage and social media makes it easy to see what other moms are doing all the time.
Over the past five months I’ve learned that there are a million ways to be a mom…and even though it may not always feel like it, you’re still a great mom even if you do things a little differently than others.
I thought I’d share a few examples today.
You’re still a great mom if:
1) Your baby doesn’t have a set nap or sleep schedule.
Squish sleeps when he’s tired and is awake when he’s not. Some days that means getting up at 8am and napping at 9. Some days that means he’s awake from 9am to 2pm without a nap. It’s ok.
2) Your baby still sleeps in the pack and play.
I had every intention of having him in his crib when he hit 3 months. He’s 5 months and still sleeps within arms reach. Why? Because it’s easier for me to just reach out and flip him over or give him his binkie at 3am instead of getting up and going to the next room to do it.
3) You let your baby watch tv.
Everything you read says no screen time before age 2. Squish watches a little TV every day and I don’t feel bad about it.
4) You let your child cry when you’re busy.
Sometimes, I let my kid cry. If he’s safe, fed and has a clean diaper and he’s still crying when I need to finish up something for work, take a few pictures for the blog or finish cooking dinner, I let him cry. And it’s ok.
5) You take your child out of the house occasionally without checking the weather.
Sometimes I take Squish with me to run a quick errand and it turns out it’s 40 degrees instead of 60 degrees like I thought it was. Should he have on pants and socks instead of shorts and bare feet? Probably. But is it the end of the world? No, he’ll be fine.
6) You play rap songs for your baby because they like the beat.
Sometimes we turn up the rap music and dance with Squish. Are the lyrics completely inappropriate for kids? Yes. Does he love it? Yes. Do I think it’s ok right now because he’s only 5 months old? Yes.
7) You sometimes let baby go 5 days without a bath.
I’m definitely not in the bathe your kid every day camp, but my goal is to get him in the tub every 2-3 days. However, sometimes the week flies by and I realize it’s been 5 days since he had a bath. Whoops. Gross? Kind of. End of the world? Nope. He’ll be fine.
8) You rock your child to sleep instead of putting them to bed awake.
Yes, I know it’s supposed to be better if he puts himself to sleep. Can he do that? Some nights. Other nights I rock him to sleep because I’m tired/It’s easier/I like doing it…and you know what? It’s ok.
9) You rarely sanitize stuff.
Baby put everything in his mouth….and I mean EVERYTHING. Is some of it dirty? Yes. Should I be cleaning his toys/binkie/etc more often? Probably…but it just doesn’t always happen…and that’s ok!
10) Your kid is not always dressed and/or matching.
Squish has a lot of cute outfits…but there have been many a day where he stays in his pjs all day long. Some days it’s just easier that way. And some days he looks ridiculous because no part of his outfit matches…And that’s ok too.
11) Sometimes you forget to read to your baby.
I love reading…Squish loves books. I love when we read together, but some days I just forget to get the books out. And that’s ok. There’s always time for extra reading tomorrow.
12) Sometimes you count down the minutes until help arrives.
I love being home with baby all day. Most days we survive without a major incident. But some days, ohhhhh some days, you better believe I’m counting the minutes until hubby gets home from work. And that doesn’t make me a bad mom.
13) You let the dogs lick your kid’s face.
Sweet? Yes. Unsanitary? Yes. Does it happen? You betcha.
14) All the baby toys have dog hair on them.
With two dogs and two cats, that struggle is real. I’m not proud of it but my kid probably ingests enough pet hair to form his own hairball. But that’s ok.
So there you go. In case you didn’t pick up on it, I do every single one of the things on this list…and I don’t think that makes me a bad mom! I’m certain there are people out there judging me for it, but the most important thing I’ve learned about parenting so far is that the best things you can do are the things that work best for you and your family. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. It’s not worth your time!
[Tweet “You’re still a great mom if you do things a little differently via @leangrnbeanblog!”]
Let’s chat:
What’s one thing you do as a mom that might be “frowned upon” by others?
Enjoy!
–Lindsay–
I was inspired to write this post after I read You’re Still A Great Mom Even If… on Scary Mommy.
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You do you girl! Squish is loved, cared for, and adored. Everything else is just a cherry on top.
I’m not a mom but I still loved this post! Kudos to you for having the courage to share your experiences in parenting. I laughed out loud at several of these pics but #4 is my favorite!
EVERY EVERY EVERY mom should read this 🙂
ahhh where to begin 🙂
love this post.
live this post.
just try my best each day and then git back up and try again.
<3
amen!
I agree, everyone parents in different ways and that’s ok! Do what works for you and trusting your gut goes a long way to a healthy, happy sane household.
I love this. And love that you’re doing it your way and feel relaxed about it. Every mom, every kid, every family needs something different: so parenting and motherhood are going to look different. Sometimes lunch for my kids is a Happy Meal and sometimes I take a shower and Jack breaks into the fridge and eats an icecream sandwich and sometimes he climbs on the counter while I’m doing something and pulls knives out of the butchers block. And sometimes Sophia forgets to change her panties and I forget that she hasn’t showered or bathed in a few days and every one is OK:) You’re doing great!
ahhh this made me laugh 🙂 love it!
omg i can relate to so many of these things!!! william slept in his bassinet until five months and i only switched him then because he started being able to crawl out of it (never happened but obviously never wanted to take that chance lol) when my niece sleeps over (she’s 3) she sleeps in the pack n play so i leave it set up in the extra bedroom and sometimes use it as a play pen for william if i’m doing my makeup in there!
haha i feel like that stage might be coming here soon too!
Ahh Lindsay… It’s so true. Some of the best advice I got was to not second guess what you think and know is best for YOUR child. There’s no one way to do this parenting thing, as you have learned. It’s a journey for everyone. I’m totally with you on the finishing up work with not just one, but 2 babies crying (Just 2 more pictures please!!), not matching and will add hair not combed, the whole dog thing (when we had a dog) and more.
One of the things my mom said to me a lot in my first year of parenting was that I was doing a great job at being Jackson’s mom. So I will pass on the same encouragement to you — Lindsay, you are doing a GREAT job at being your son’s mom! Keep it up girl. It only gets better.
Have an awesome day!
thanks Jenna! appreciate it!
AMEN! Being a Mom is HARD and it is made even harder when we don’t cut ourselves any slack!
I love this! And you certainly are a great mom! Eleanor NEVER had a schedule as a baby, and everybody told me I would regret it – nope! She’s a happy, healthy, well-adjusted tot 🙂
I MIGHT try to get baby #2 on a schedule though – having two little girls to coordinate sounds a bit more daunting haha
i can def understand that! good luck!
Definitely going to let my child listen to some rap music if it gets them dancing. Baby dancing is almost the best thing in the world.
haha it is amazing!
I love this post! I did a “That’s What She Does” post a while back discussing the whole “let’s compare” game it’s easy to do as a mother. Being a mom is tough stuff, hardest job ever, and we are our own worst critics. I love it that moms can put out there what their kids are doing that may be “frowned” upon. I think it’s just living, it’s real, and we all do it! I let my baby girl watch “Frozen”, all or some of it, almost everyday and have since Christmas and she won’t be two until June…gasp! 😉 I have had her cut back a little but if I need some “help” for 15 minutes to get something done it’s great and I’m ok with it.
love it!
Love this so much!!! Also I hear dogs help reduce allergies in babies! Woot.
yes! def hoping that’s true 😉
Hi Lindsay,
So I don’t have any kids, but I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading this post. The idea of having and raising a child has always scared the S*** out of me. But seeing a post like this, and hearing how calm and collected you are about it all, it just makes me feel better. It makes me feel like someday I might be able to have a kid and not screw it up too badly, lol. So thank you for sharing your parenting adventures 🙂
– Danielle
thanks danielle! you can definitely do it!!
Yes! You can still be a great mom if you’re a human being 😉 After 3 kids I might have finally learned this!
totally agree!
Best read ever! There is so much competition these days that many Moms are exhausted and feel like failures. There is no need for that. You do the best you can. I do so much more than my parents did. A few things ( there is a lot more) I do that might be frowned upon is let them eat left over In and Out burgers for breakfast, and I am very strict with them when we are at a restaurant or public place– I had a few side eyed looks at both of those, but it works for both my husband and I. There are many more, but those two seem to drive people crazy.
those are two good ones in my opinion!
I love that you can be this relaxed first time through–it’s refreshing! And good for the baby, too. He’ll be a laid back little dude as a result. As for me–I’m extremely relaxed about letting my kids roam free in the neighborhood and always have been. I know there are plenty of helicopter parents who would frown on it, but I love letting them have freedom (and well, with my 14-yr old, I’d better anyhow, huh?).
i love that! some of my fav childhood memories were neighborhood times!
I love this! It is the perfect example of “what works for/is best for one person/family may be different from another person/family.” P.S. He looks super cute with his mismatched outfit 😉
haha thanks 🙂 i thought so too!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I love this blog post! I’m in the same boat as you with all of those (dog licking, ingesting pet hair, baths every 2-3 days [they say you shouldn’t bathe babies everyday anyway], crying, etc.) and there are times I think, “Maybe I should be more concerned…” but so far she’s been OK. We need to reassure each other every once in a while, and I appreciate this this morning.
you’re doing great mama. loved your post today!
I dont have kids yet but from my friends who do I can’t believe how much judgement there is by other moms. It’s terrifying! I don’t understand why people can’t let other people raise their own children. Thanks for the post!
right?! it’s crazy! thanks for reading!
Love this! It is so refreshing to find someone so like me. We don’t have a set nap schedule, at 7 months my son has never been consistent with naps, I just roll with it. It doesn’t stop me from going out, he just sleeps. I moved my son into his room at 7 months, it was for the exact same reasons as you noted above, I was getting way more sleep before moving him.
I love your honesty!
thanks girl!
This is so, so good. Comparison is already such an easy trap to fall into, and I’m sure it only gets worse with motherhood. I definitely need this reminder to do what’s best for us and not worry what other people think. Also, that picture of the food set up with Squish crying in the background is classic. I’m sure I’ll have one just like it some day. 🙂
ooooh yes you will 🙂
Have you been stocking my life? I have a four month old and have been “guilty” of all these things- and couldn’t care less.
The nurse practitioner even recommended that since Abigail, who is EBF, didn’t put on as much weight as the growth chart said she should, I should be waking her up at night for a feeding. The kid has been sleeping through the night since 5 weeks – why would I want to ruin that? (Dr. later agreed with me, saying the growth charts were a bit outdated anyway).
So long as what you’re doing isn’t emotionally, physically or mentally unhealthy, abusive or neglectful, you’re doing just fine (or so I keep telling myself!)
so so true! great job!
So much fun reading this post! I think every mother can relate to at least one item on this list. #12 is me all the time! You’re doing a great job doing motherhood the way it works best for you!
Oh girl, #12 errrrday! haha, plus I”m sure I’ve got quite a few of my own. 🙂 Us mamas have to stick together. We know what’s up.
yeah we do!
The picture with the non-matching clothes is the cutest baby picture ever! =) I’m not a parent, but I believe in pretty much everything you said. I mean… life happens, right?
thanks Chris!
This is so great and so needed for me right now as I am literally about to becom ea mom. For some reason the past few days, I’ve had all these feelings of doubt like I’m going to be the worst mom ever. Pregnancy hormones, I guess?!
I am totally going to not sanitize my kids toys as often as I should and let my dog lick their face. I let him lick mine after all. I’m pretty sure our kids will live just fine 🙂
hang in there girl. you’re gonna do great!
Love love love this post. You just made me feel better as a mom!
I don’t have children but I absolutely loved and adored this. Hope you show it to your son one day!
thanks Megan!
All through this I kept shaking my head and saying…Oh my gosh yes!! We put ourselves under such pressure to be just right…and then they get here and many times we do what gets us through the day!!! With both of our girls…they slept in their car seat until they were about 8 months old!!! We put the car seat in their crib but that was where they liked to sleep and sleep is like air for new moms so that’s where they slept!!! My mother-in-law tried for the longest time to convince me that my oldest was going to develop some awful deformity because I was putting her in there to sleep but she is absolutely perfect!!! And she lived….probably because I was able to sleep! Lol!!!
haha love it!!!
I’ve done/do every single one of these. What a great post!!! my daughter is almost 5 and she is well rounded and adaptable.
good to hear 🙂
My son is 18 months old and these things are all things I did (except sleeping in PnP, because ours was downstairs). You are so right…none of these things really matter and they all straighten themselves out as your baby gets older. Blogs are good at showing the “good” behavior, and bad at showing the stuff people may judge, so its nice to see this side, since most of us are guilty. My confessions…I don’t mop as often as I should, considering he drops crackers and his sippy on the floor regularly (and than eats/drinks), and I’m not good about forcing a “good” teeth brushing yet (he only had a few front teeth until recently). And yet, I think he’s going to live. 🙂
ahhh yes, the mopping and vaccuuming could be more frequent here too 🙂
This was a great post! I definitely needed it with an almost 10 month old and people always comparing/criticizing my parenting technique. I’m guilty of many of these and my child is just fine, happy even. I rock him to sleep every night because it comforts him and he’ll only be little once I’m cherishing my time!!
i love it! totally agree!
Absolutely love this! As moms we are doing the best we can and put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best. At five months old, you are doing everything perfectly…..at a year, I’m going to venture to say you are gonna wish you had structured naps and didn’t rock your baby to sleep every night. I was just like you, then toddler stage it and it was a whole different ball game! So rock him while you can and let him take snoozers when he wants to while he’s so little. Enjoy every second. Great blog!
i guess we’ll see!!
Yes to all of the above! I’m a new mom to a 6 week old baby boy and my “you’re still a good mom confession” is that my son almost always falls asleep after eating. Sometimes we do the E.A.S.Y. way but I’m definitely not going to keep him awake just to stick to that schedule! Great post on a day I needed to read it 🙂
glad it could help a little!
I loved this I was Mom back in the 1970 and 80’s with three under 3 years of age. I did most if not all of those things and it was okay. Go with your instincts and you won’t go far wrong. Squish is happy, healthy and loved that is all that counts not what a book says should be done.
thanks so much paula!
Love love love this post! I agree, every mom should read this. In a world of ‘mom shaming’ it’s so hard to know if you’re doing okay. at 25 weeks pregnant my only goal for my child is to have him be alive when dad comes home..ah ah you think I’m joking…laundry, hitting milestones, getting out of the house, sure nice in theory but some days it ain’t happening and I’m okay with that.
We as women have to support each other instead of knocking each other down! Way to go on being an awesome mom 🙂
couldn’t agree more!
yup yup yup! they’ll be fine!!
i’m incredibly impressed that it only took you 5 months to figure this all out. you are way smarter than i am.
Love this post 🙂
Lol this is great. Just wait until he starts crawling. Sometimes you let your kid chew in and play with the dogs toys because it makes them happy and there is literally no keeping them away from them.
i can only imagine!
I loved this post so much. I’m a mom of a 9 month old baby girl and I’m “guilty” of everything on your list…and my baby is healthy and happy and that’s all that matters!
glad to hear it!
This list is hilarious Lindsay! I can so relate to practically each one of these – especially the no baths for 5 days, dog licking and dog hair on EVERYTHING!
the dog hair struggle is real
I looooved this post! It’s so so true. And amen to not sanitizing everything–I’m not sure I’ve ever ‘sanitized’ a toy just because (I would if she barfed on it or something but otherwise, nope).
haha glad i’m not alone on that one!
YES! B man gets a bath 2-3 times a week as a 3.5 year old. In the winter it just dries out his skin and has had incidents of the skin being so dry it cracks and bleeds, so we just don’t do it often, unless he gets dirty. The summer is a different story since he loves playing outside and gets pretty dirty. But yes to pretty much everything lol!
I LOVE this post!! So true! Kids are hardy and for the most part pretty unbreakable. No one’s perfect and if your baby could talk they would tell you they don’t expect you to be! 🙂 Great post!!
What a great post! I think lots of moms end up realizing things like this once their a few months in. I do some of these myself: no set nap schedule (until she was 12 months), not cleaning/sanitizing toys/things enough (germs are good!), and def only bathe 3 times a week, but sometimes 2 if we’re really busy. As long she she smells good, looks clean, and her hair isn’t totally crazy – it’s all good!
glad to hear it 🙂
You’re doing just fine, don’t ever doubt it.
I’ve obsessed over putting baby to sleep in his crib for over a year and then at 2 yrs and a half something changed – he climbed in his bed, said it was his, and didn’t climb in our bed anymore.
I think everything will happen when the right time comes, he didn’t disappoint.