If you’re anything like me, you probably spent most of your younger years wanting time to go faster. When I was 10, I wanted to be 13 so I could be a teenager. When I was 13 I wanted to be 16 so I could get my driver’s license. When I was 16 I wanted to be 18 so I could go to college. When I was 18, I wanted to be 21 so I could drink legally.
I always felt like I wanted to be older, move faster, get to the next milestone..but I never really had an end destination in mind. When was I going to find that time when I didn’t want to be older? I imagined I’d come across it at some point. I never thought I’d be 80 years old and really wishing I was 95….so I guess I just figured that somewhere between the ages of 21 and 80 I’d find an age where I wanted time to stop.
Well, I’ve found it. And it started the second my baby was born.
A few weeks ago I snapped this picture:
I had just carried Squish up to put him to bed. He was completely asleep and the pack and play is literally right next to my bed, but for some reason, I didn’t want to put him down. So I climbed into bed and held him, reading my book and just feeling the weight of him on my chest. And I realized just how much I wanted to freeze time.
I think I could have stayed like that forever and been 100% content. Every day I pick him up and I never want to put him down.
The next day I came across this post on Scary Mommy – In The Nursery, Where Time Stands Still, and I burst into tears for no reason other than I know that same thing is going to happen to me. One day I’m going to be holding him and I’m going to realize that he’s grown up. That he’s not a baby anymore but a toddler, and then a little boy. Just a few nights ago hubby and I were watching him sleep and talking about how much he’s changed already in the 4 short months he’s been alive.
It’s crazy and wonderful to think about, but at the same time it’s hard and scary.
Last week, I came across this poem- The Last Time and it so perfectly describes life with a baby. There are days when they’re crying and you’re tired and you want nothing more than to just set them down and cry yourself…but you have to remember that there will be a last time. A last time you can hold them in your arms, a last time they want to hold your hand, a last time when you’re the only one who can help them stop crying…so I try to remember that every day.
Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by this blog. I have a to-do list that is literally an entire page long and beyond that I have more lists. A list of things I should be doing every day but don’t have time for. A list of things I could do behind the scenes to make this blog better. A list of ideas for the ebook I want to write. A list of things that could help me generate more income.
I feel like I finish one thing on a list and immediately add three more things to it. It’s never-ending. Couple that with balancing working from home with spending time with my baby and all the feelings I’ve been having about my baby growing up too fast…and there are days when I’m one overwhelmed new mama – both physically and emotionally.
And so yesterday, when the internet wasn’t working so work wasn’t getting done and I was trying to deal with a fussy baby and get back in the groove after having grandparents in town to lend helping hands, I forced myself to take a step back, take a deep breath and focus on the positives.
- I have an amazing baby that I’m lucky enough to spend time with every day.
- I have a wonderful husband who helps take care of me, the baby, the house and so much more.
- I have a job that i LOVE.
- I have the best family who is always willing to help.
- And I have this blog, that’s mostly about food, but it’s mine..and that means if I want to use it as a therapeutic writing outlet, I can 🙂
And as I sat there and looked at my finally sleeping baby, I was reminded just how important the little things are.
Because you can’t freeze time…but you can do your best to enjoy every single minute you’ve got!
So this is my new normal. I work hard, but I’m his mommy first. My most important job now is to love him, teach him and raise him to be the best person he can be.
And some days that means spending all day with baby and not crossing a single thing off my to do list. And some days it means staying up late or getting up early to get things done while baby is sleeping.
It means there will be days I’ll feel like I’m rocking at life and I’ll finish everything on my to do list and more…days where I only get the bare minimum done with no time for anything extra and days where I’ll fall behind on work, my lists will grow longer and I’ll feel so tired and overwhelmed that I can’t see straight.
And on those days I’ll tell myself it’s ok. I’ll focus on the little moments and the memories being made.
Because work and the blog will always be there.
But he won’t be this little forever.
And I don’t want to miss a thing.
–Lindsay–
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I have tears in my eyes Lindsay. Partly because this is so beautiful and I remember those feelings so well. And partly because my “little” boys are both big men, one of them with babies of his own. You’re right, time doesn’t stand still, but every moment of it is worth it.
thanks debbie! appreciate it!
What a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing this! I always wanted to be older too. Now I’m really content being right where I am.
oh i so love this, and agree 1000%, I feel the same way and i’m not even a mom. So kudos to you linz for being real and looking at your blessings, instead of your to do list.
thanks friend!
This totally hit home. After spending three days at Disneyland with my kids and coming home to a mountain of things to to-do, this was the BEST reminder– I need to take a deep breath and if a few things don’t get done it’s no big deal, because the most important thing in my life is my three incredible children.
Great post! I always wanted time to go faster when I was younger too. Now I have my baby boy I have to remind myself that he won’t be this small forever and I have to cherish every moment with him even if it means the house is a complete mess or I can’t do any work.
so true. and so worth it!
AMEN, sister! xo
Keeping it real. The best.
Even though I’m clearly not a mother, i can definitely relate.
What a lovely post Lindsay and a great reminder to anyone (with children or not). I think it’s important to realize that we all only have a certain amount of moments and we should truly make the most out of them.
Love this Lindsay – even though I’m not a mother I can totally relate to this in terms of life in general – life and living should always come first!
So you enjoy those beautiful Chase moments as much as you can 🙂
This totally stole my heart! What a sweet and heartfelt post, almost a letter if you will to your son. Hope you find the balance you need. You already have the right perspective.
thanks Megan!
Aww Lindsay! This was beautiful. I’m so glad you know what’s important and needs to be at the top of every to do list 🙂 Crazy how fast time with babies goes!
Aw, I love this! I’m 35 weeks and starting to already feel some of these things. It’s going to be amazing to hold my little one, but I already fear he or she will grow up too fast. I guess we need to just take the time and appreciate the moments we have. 🙂
Beautiful post, Lindsay! I know this will be me in a few months in some way too. I already feel totally overwhelmed by my blog lately and my baby isn’t even here yet. Pregnancy has been such a bigger life change than I expected, but I also keep trying to remind myself that this pregnancy won’t last forever and even though it’s hard, I’m sure I’ll miss parts of being pregnant too.
hang in there mama! baby will be here soon!
Spend every precious moment with that little man and filled with every ounce of love there is! We don’t appreciate the time when we are younger, but no matter what stage of life you’re in or who is filling that stage with you, you should be cherishing it fully! XOXOXOXOXOXO
I relate to so much of this. Just wait. My baby girl is 6 years old and it seems like yesterday she wouldn’t stop crying and I was shushing/patting/swaddling her in desperation. Luckily, she still lets me cuddle with her. 🙂
You are doing a fabulous job–I have been in total awe at how well you’ve kept up your blog since become a new mom. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
thanks so much maryea!
One of the most important lessons I learned is never pass up the opportunity to do things that you can’t repeat. Spend every moment with squish savoring the “firsts”. There will plenty of times in the future when he will be at school and you will have time for other things!
Such a beautiful post, Lindsay. It’s a great reminder for all of us, even those who don’t yet have kids. We have to take the time to focus on the things that really matter, and not worry so much about the things we ‘should’ be doing or crossing off our lists! I think you’re doing a great job of balancing it all out 🙂
thanks friend!
Yes! Any new mam , will be like that! I remember how I wanted that to happen , because after two they are not babies anymore 🙁
love these blog posts, so honest, deep and real,its so you lindsay 🙂
Beautifully written! I’m not a mother, but I’ve been struggling with this exact issue — the passage of time. It scares me! When I was 13 and wishing that I was 19, if felt like “forever” to get there. Now, I can’t believe how quickly today becomes tomorrow, and tomorrow becomes next week.
pretty crazy, isn’t it?!
I get this feeling all the time now, especially since my youngest is almost 4 now! The baby years are so, so precious. Difficult, but deeply precious in a way that’s hard to realize in the moment. Happy you’re enjoying your time, being a mom is all bittersweet moments!
This makes me so happy for you and so sad ( for me) at the same time. I am glad to hear you are enjoying every moment because you are truly BLESSED beyond words to be able to spend every day taking care of your baby and deciding when and how much you work.
Since my son turned 3 months old, every morning at 7:15 am I have to pass him off to his sitter and say bye bye. He wakes up at 6:30am, and goes to bed for the night at 6:30pm, about an hour we get home. The math here is that I only SEE my baby ( who is 10 months old now) for about 1.5-2 hours total a day- every single second is precious. My hubby and I stare at his baby monitor a lot and go through our thousands of photos on the couch together every night.
I literally get a little upset/ anxious when we have to go do something on the weekends, when I have to share my precious weekend time with his grandparents and cousins. I try so hard to enjoy that they get to enjoy him too, but honestly I just want to be home snuggling him with the hubby all to ourselves, playing and having some time off. I am still striving to find that evasive balance of baby and work and home and husband and family and me time and and and and! love and hugs to you, finding your new normal is a great start!
thanks! hang in there!!
Beautiful post!
such sweet, sweet moments. soak them up mama!
As I sit here wiping the tears from my eyes and looking over at my 7 month old lil guy, I just have to tell you how much this hits home. I’ve been following your blog for a while but, for some reason, have never left a comment. Well, if there was ever a time to break my silence, it’s now!!! Thank you for your beautiful words!
thanks so much for reading 🙂
1,000 times yes to this post. My son turned 14 last week. NOT possible. It breaks my heart, honestly. Four more years with him here. I’m so glad you recognize it while Chase is a baby so that you can cherish every single minute with him!
enjoy every minute of those 4 years!!
This post is so sweet and so beautiful. You and Squish are adorable. Enjoy every second as much as you possibly can!
Such a wonderful post! You and your family are beautiful! Enjoy all of those little moments 🙂
Wow! I totally agree. Perhaps it was a good thing there was no internet so you could enjoy your time together. Enjoy all of your time together, for sure.
very true! good point!
This post is so sweet. You are a rockstar for juggling everything. Just do the best you can!
thanks Sam!
That was written so well 🙂 I have a hard enough time balancing things without a kid, so when those will get added to the mix I hope that I can hold onto my sanity. I love blogging and writing and teaching fitness classes and hopefully I will be able to manage all those things and a little one when the time comes. I think you do awesome work and I don’t fault you one bit for taking the time for things that are important in life. Great job!
thanks so much Erin!
yes. just yes to all of it. the week that penelope turned 2, i felt so depressed. yes, i’m thrilled and thankful that she is growing as she should and is happy and healthy. but part of me felt so sad. she really isn’t a baby anymore – she is more of a little girl everyday and it makes me long for her to just sleep on my chest one more day. every day does get better and more fun, and i’m just trying to enjoy every moment 🙂
keep it up mama! you’re doing great!
It’s like you went in my head and spoke all the words I’ve been thinking. Loved this Lindsay…. the to-do lists can and should wait. Now just tell me that! Lol!
you know it girl! enjoy the moment!
Love this! Everything you said hit so close to home. When my son was a few months old I had my husband take a picture of him just sleeping on my chest because I knew he wouldn’t lay like that much longer. All of your cute pictures with your baby remind me of that! My boy is almost 2 – still a joy and my greatest blessing – but time really needs to slow down!! Thanks for this sweet post!
thanks Elizabeth!
Oh Lindsay, I so loved this post. Beautiful and honest and real. Thank you. xx
This post brought tears to my eyes….that could partly be from the pregnancy hormones 😉 but mostly it’s because it’s so easy to tell just how in love you are with that adorable little baby boy of yours and how happy you are to be his mom <3
thanks so much friend! you’ll be the same way!
This is my life. I have always felt like a “bad blogger” because I don’t post as often as everyone else, I don’t have as much time to do social media, I don’t have as big of following, you get the picture. I always feel overwhelmed and that I will never get done what I want. But my kids, oh my babies….they are #1 and I feel the exact same way. If you ever want to text and compare how little we got done in a day, feel free! lol
girl, if i have a blog that’s half as successful as yours if i ever have four kids, i’ll consider that a major win! you’re rocking it! but i’m always up for texting 😉
What tender & sweet experiences those are! Thanks for sharing! I hope you can find a balance between all of the important things to do & to be able to enjoy it-most days!
So true! Our sweet baby boy is just a few days younger than Chase. I never want to move when he falls asleep on my chest no matter many other things need to be done. It’s amazing how he fits there so completely differently than he did a few months ago. My husband and I were just talking about the nights in the first month or so when they only way our baby would sleep was if someone held him. It was exhausting at the time, but I’m kind of nostalgic for the nights of being propped up on the couch with him sleeping on me. Although I don’t miss being up in the middle of the night all the time, I almost miss how it felt like we were the only ones in the world who were awake. These are sweet, sweet times. 🙂
i know the feeling for sure!
Beautiful! And so true… they grow up way too fast. You will never ever look back on this time and say, “I wish I would have worked MORE,” But you might look back on it and say, “I wish I would have worked less.” With a 2 year old and a 5 month old some days I feel like I have failed because nothing get done, but then I look at my two children and their happy and loved and I realize that the unimportant things may have not gotten done but the most important things were done and they were done well because I pour my heart and soul into being their mommy each day.
that’s amazing! they’re lucky kiddos!
Such a lovely post Lindsay! I wish I had a blog when mine were babies, to capture those memories. Enjoy every single minute – and remember to go back and re-read it all when he’s 15- you so won’t want to freeze time then!
haha good tip 🙂
You are speaking to me, Lindsay! I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with my work (blog, writing and my other job) all while trying to be mom and wife. I want to do it all but I feel like I’m missing everything at the same time. Like my eyes aren’t focused on the right thing at the right time. My kids are 4.5 and I’m amazed that they will be going to Kindergarten in the fall. Weren’t they just babies? What am I going to do without spending whole days with them, not just the weekend? Cherish every minute, everyday. Time may seem slow but it moves very quickly.
you’re not alone! hang in there mama!
Such a great post, Lindsay! I am not a Mom so I can’t completely understand everything you are saying, but I do have a new puppy and I can’t believe how quickly he is growing up! Last night I sat on the couch with him for 20 minutes literally doing nothing, just cuddling and I said to Brian “this is the longest he has been like this!” and Brian said…”no Tara, it’s the longest YOU have been like that.” and it made me realize I REALLY need to work hard to just relax and enjoy life’s moments 🙂 Great post!
awww puppies are the best! glad you’re working on enjoying the little moments too!
This made me miss when my babies were babies. I feel like the desire to freeze time gets stronger when they leave for school. That little bit of independence makes me miss when they needed me for everything. My “baby” counted to 100 yesterday by himself I was equally excited and sad because he’s a little boy now not a baby anymore. Enjoy the moments my dear as you know they go by quickly. <3
awww that’s so exciting for him!
So I’m going to second Tara in saying I don’t have a human baby but I got a kitten for Christmas and it’s amazing how fast little things grow! I know it’s not the same thing but little Zoey also forces me to slow down (and have super unproductive days) and that’s not a bad thing!
Honestly if the blog is stressing you out..you have so much content already I bet you could scale back your posting schedule. I just heard a successful blogger say she only posts once a week and her readers just know to look for that post on Mondays. Just a thought! 🙂
very true! i’ve definitely gotten better about cutting myself slack about not posting as often. it’s helping!
I love this post so much!! Beautiful! Also, thank you for linking to my site for The Last Time poem. 🙂 I’m glad to have found your blog!
you’re welcome!
Last weekend, the Lightning Kid took his nap lying in my arms. Definitely a “freeze-worthy” moment. When I had Shark Boy on my chest as a baby, I worried about him outgrowing cuddles. A mother of an 7-8 year-old told me to keep it up and not give it up, since hers still enjoyed it with his mom.
good to hear!
awww I love this post, my fave posts of yours are these personal snippets and snapshots into YOU in the most special way…you have a very full but very happy life and that makes me happy. xo
thanks friend!
girl I feel ya, I was thinking of writing a blog post about this exact thing. I am the same boat. My little girl is growing up so fast and I am embracing all the little moments!!!! Plus not stress over my ever growing to do list of things I need and want to get done. It is hard balancing the time but like you I focus on the good things – that working from home is the best 🙂 even on those fussy baby days! thinking of ya sweetie!! somehow we both will get everything done while enjoying all beautiful children xoxo
thanks friend! you hang in there as well!
What a beautiful story… and great perspective! I completely understand were you’re coming from. I wish time would slow down to, it’s amazing how fast life goes by. One day your children are adults and you and your spouse has grey hair… I hate thinking about it because I get so overwhelmed! I guess that’s why it’s good to stop and smell the roses!
As a dad of two grown daughters this hits home.
I can’t remember that last time I rocked my daughter to sleep. But I remember that I did it for years. I don’t remember the last time I woke up at 2AM hearing a little voice called “Daddy” to come and take her to the bathroom. But I remember thinking back then that these were special moments that she would not remember, but I would. They were gold.
So many memories and so many moments forgotten. That’s just the way it is.
Thanks for this post.
Andy
thanks for reading!!
Sounds like you’re a great mommy! One of the few women that make me actually look forward to it 😀 Thanks for sharing.
I feel like I need to print this off and post it multiple places in my house. I love this! Even with Aubrey only being 4 weeks old, I catch myself thinking “I can’t wait until she’s older so I can do ____”, and then I remind myself I will miss those late night feedings when she snuggles against my chest and falls asleep. Every new mom needs to read this and know it’s ok that she didn’t shower today or get everything done. It’s such a struggle for me, this great upheaval in my normal life. But I’m trying to figure out how to take it in stride. Thanks, Lindsay!